If I had more room, I would shop more.

Awhile ago I mentioned that I had some vintage posters/pictures in my room and said I'd post pictures of them. Well, I took the pictures in February, but I'm finally showing them to you! And I might be odd, but I love my gray walls.

The drawings are done by my aunt. She has an etsy shop with all of her cute stuff!

Her originals are done on pieces of wood, like the ones in the middle. The two on the sides are prints of the originals. The picture in the middle is one of those old fashioned pictures, where they dress you up and all that.

The James Dean pictures above my window are from my calendar a few years ago. I don't like that they are unframed, so I'll probably retire these when I move out. If you look closely, the one on the far left is missing the lower corner, because my bird ate it. Oy.

I got these prints from a local store. I have the Raising the Flag on Iwo Jima picture and Johnny Cash. I have one of the Good Witch from the Wizard of Oz, but I ran out of wallspace.

Here's my big wall. The siz frames in the middle have ads from vintage magazines. I got these from my aunts who used to sell vintages goodies. The James Dean poster I got from my brother for my birthday. I had a closer picture, but my camera ate it.

Closer pictures of these. Steve's BMT picture, James Dean postcards, The dress thing is a handmade card I found... somewhere downtown. the dress, shoes, and purse are all folded paper.

The PMS sign is a metal sign my mom bought me. Then of course my James Dean calendar and the tassle from graduation.

I love this sign, even if my name is spelled wrong. My mom found this at Michael's.

The picture on the top I found for a few dollars at Michael's. The mirrow was from my brother's baby room, my mom painted it with a metallic finish. The bottom part is messed up because again, my bird ate it. This is why I moved everything away from her cage.

This is my favorite. I got it at Michaels, and the frame at Wal Mart.

Top shelf: A bunch of hats, both mine and Steve's. The thing in the middle is a cupcake stand, you can see the bottom of it, because it's on its side. the next shelf down had books from my childhood (the rest are in boxes until I move), beauty pictures, pictures, and a plate I painted. Next row is my books, and I wish you could see my awesome frog bookends. Bottom shelf, various trinkets, pictures, and some more books.

If you look on the far left you can see a tiny peek of my frog collection that I'm pretending I don't have. I'm a big girl, really. And the other bed is rocking camo.

I don't have a picture of the whole room, but I've done what I can with the small space I have. By the way, the beds, shelves, and cabinets were built by my grandpa.

A bit of a problem.

I have a problem. I'm an internet junkie.

I use Blogger, Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, Livejournal, youtube, 3 hotmail accounts, and I use Google reader for the non-blogger blogs I follow.


Jeez.

The one who fixes everything.

This is the most amazing guy ever.

He's the only person that can always make me feel better.

He's a superhero.

Hazel, Hazelnut, Hazeltina

So, my dog died. When I was in 7th grade, we were living in Montana. It wasn't going great, because my dad was working for a cement company, and they didn't have a ton of work during the winter. He got a job offer from some friends of ours down here in AZ, so my parents decided to make the move. My dad came down here about three months before the rest of us. While he was down here he bought a puppy, a Queensland Heeler, and named her Hazel. She was this tiny cute little thing. Then she turned into a bigger cute thing, who would try to herd us when we went on walks.

The past few months she started getting really fat. We thought it was just because she was a pig, which maybe that was part of it. Then, the past few weeks it seemed like it was hard for her to walk. She couldn't get in my car, she tried jumping out of my parents truck and fell on her face. It was the saddest thing.

Then last night, she just wouldn't walk. We could tell the smallest movement just hurt so much. So we put her on their dogbed in the livingroom, and she laid there all night. My dad took her to the vet this morning. It turns out she had a tumor on her spleen or pancreas, I'm not sure which. I guess she had gotten so big because the tumor was causing internal bleeding. That's why it was so hard for her to move, she was just so weak. Because of everything, especially the pain she was in, my dad had her put to sleep.

She's the Heeler, with her face by my knee. Note how she matches Moses, her BFF/Hubby, the Basset at the top right.

It just breaks my heart. This wasn't anything we could have prevented. And the vet said that even if they had known, and removed the tumor, there was a 95% chance she would get another one that would have caused the same bleeding. The point she was at this morning, they could have given her pain pills, but by the end of the week she would be so dehydrated her organs would start shutting down, which is extremely painful.

Hazel was kind of stinky. She was hairy, and loved to get that hair all over my car. She was a food hog. She didn't have that great dog personality.

But I still liked her.

I don't know who I feel worse for- my dad, who is upset about it* or Hazel's 'husband', our Basset Hound.

*My dad doesn't get emotional. According to my mom though, he didn't take it too well.

I'm happy that she's not in pain though. It's like when a baby or little kid is really hurt. They don't understand what's happening. She just kept looking at us like she was wondering why we couldn't fix it.

Ugh. I don't want to cry about it again.

Write On! #1 [Once upon a time, I almost dated Steve's brother]

Today I'm participating in the first writing prompt by Tattoos and Teething Rings. I figured it would be a good way to keep me updating. I guess sometimes I like being told what to write about.

Well, my options are either "What is the worst date you've ever been on?" or "How did you meet your boyfriend?" Well, I already told mine and Steve's story (if you haven't read it, it's up in my pages), but I've also never really had a bad date. I went to the movies with my boyfriend in 7th grade, where his friend got us to kiss (for the first time, in front of his friend, really?). I met a guy on myspace and later went on a date with him, but that was a pretty cute date- Panda Express, ice cream, park. So, I've never really had a bad date.

So I guess I'll do the full story of how Steve and I met. I do have some pretty hilarious pictures of him from then... but they are on my broken phone. Damn.

I guess this is one of those stories that you have to just laugh about and be glad they had a good outcome.

So here's the story. It starts my freshman year. I was into the local band scene and would go to 'shows' all the time. (Shows=concerts, but you know... local bands) One of these was pretty shortly after I broke up with a boyfriend. I went out with my friends to get over it, or something, so there we were, hanging out on this hill outside, and Scott was there. Scott is Steve's brother, but at the time he was just a guy in the same group as me, who was also kind of friends with my sister. So we all decided to play spin the bottle (well, cellphone), and I ended up kissing Scott. Awkward. Later on in the night he asked me to be his girlfriend, and I declined. Oh, high school. Looking back, this is all so ridiculous to me. So after that, we were able to just be friends. It wasn't weird, and I never really thought much about it.

Fast forward to junior year. I was getting over my 'bad phase', and stopped hanging out with most of my friends. This meant that I pretty much didn't talk to anyone the first month or so of my junior year. Wow, I'm so cool. So, I got sick of it, and one day I saw Scott, and was hanging out with him and his friends every day after that. We became really good friends, and pretty soon people could tell we were interested in each other. It was pretty much a "when" rather than "if" we started dating.

I know, I'm embarrassed admitting it.

So, since this is high school, there has to be drama right? Of course right.

While I was becoming closer to Scott, I was also becoming really good friends with his ex-girlfriend, Mandi. Silly me thought this wouldn't be any problem. Long story short, when I started becoming un-interested in Scott, he blamed Mandi. I kind of flipped out on him, saying how it had nothing to do with Mandi, and how dare he talk to my friend that way, and that REALLY made me sure I didn't want to be with him.

Oy vey.

As I started losing interest in Scott, I started to notice his brother. I know... I couldn't go 5 seconds without wanting a guy. All the while my 'whatever' thing with Scott was developing, I started being friends with his brother Steve. Somehow, Steve was just Scott's brother. Woops, my mistake. Anyhow, I eventually became sane, and I've been in love with the guy ever since.

The good things that came out of this?

Well, Steve, obviously.

I gained an awesome friend, Lauren. (Another girlfriend of the group)

Scott and I stayed good friends.

The knowledge that Steve thinks I'm awesome enough to ignore that I kissed his brother... twice.

Yeah... I like to pretend that didn't happen.

My Cosmo School Graduation! [otherwise known as the day I ate confetti]

I got my graduation pictures today! My brother in law has a photography business, so he took pictures, edited them, and uploaded them to his website, so it took a bit for me to get them. I'm going to do a seperate post with the pictures I took with my teachers and friends. That one will be more of a 'my beauty school experience'. I can't corrupt my graduation post.

This is my station, decorated by my mom and sister (she's the one in the picture above).

Graduation station, graduation outfit.

I got to wear color, jeans, and opened toed shoes. Woo! By the way, the reason that is exciting is because our dresscode is black and white, closed shoes.

So anyway, graduations at my school aren't a huge deal. You get to get free services done, which is really nice. I got a manicure and pedicure, and then Stephanie styled my hair. I didn't really need anything else done, and I didn't want to pack too many things into my day.

This really isn't a great picture of any of us, but I still like it.

Aside from getting services done, you get to wear your graduation outfit a few hours before you graduate, then at the time of the graduation, you get called into the directors office.

They don't really do anything in there, but ask if you have any questions or need anything. While you're in there, everyone comes out from the classrooms and from doing clients and line up and start cheering, then you walk down the row of people, they cheer, there's usually cake. Not too much, but just graduating is enough.

Oh, did I mention that my mom brought TONS of confetti and silly string? Yeah.

Ok, so this isn't a great picture, but it's funny. This was me spitting out a mouthful of confetti. This stuff got everywhere. I'm pretty sure I ate some. It also stuck to my chest.

Oh, and one of my teachers thought it would be a good idea to shove some down my sister's shirt... I'm so proud of Bri for holding her composure. She just made threats later after we left.

Oh man. I did it. I graduated.

A lot of people were asking me all day if I was SOOOO excited, and of course I was, but I wasn't hyped up all day. It was just another day, except I was graduating. Well, it hit me a little harder when I was in the directors office. My heart was going a million miles an hour, I felt a little shaky. It was so good to finally know that I was done. I did what I've wanted to do for years.

And now I get to have a career that I love. Something that I went to school for, studied for, worked my ass off for.

There are a few more things I could include in the post. How I couldn't even get through my graduation day without people trying to start chick-drama. How my hours got messed up, so I had to stay an hour after my graduation.  Just little crappy things from the day, but those things don't matter, they aren't the things I want to remember about this.

Like I said in the beginning, I want to do a post about my experience in school, the people, all of that. But that is going to have the bad things as well as the good things, so I guess this is it for my graduation!

Making things right since she gave me my dream-guy...

I have this friend, Lauren.

 Hi, Lauren.

Anyway, I have a lot to thank Lauren for in my life. For example, she helped get Steve and I together. We went on double dates a lot. She was there when Steve and I were broken up. I'm pretty sure she was behind him going to our grad night party (that's where "we" started to be "we" again). She was always there for me to vent about school, Steve, family, anything. She went with me the day Steve left for bootcamp.

Ok, so those are all important things in a friend, but today she did something that pertains to this blog. I've been bouncing back and forth in my mind deciding how much to censor myself on my blog. I don't in 'real' life, I'm basically an open book, but I'm always convinced that my mom or someone I know will read it.

Today (ok, tonight, since its 2:30 am- wait, is that this morning then?), she told me I should write whatever I want. So starting now, I'm going to do that. I sort of started, with my post about my anxiety. But now I'm going to be open. I'll probably swear here or there, I'll talk about sex if I feel like it. I'll complain about whoever I want, even if they might be reading this blog.  I'm not going to be mean, or put people down, or disrespect someone's privacy I won't be dropping f-bombs every other word, or going into graphic detail, but I won't hold back from saying things like "Holy shit, I miss sleeping with my boyfriend." Oh my... that was refreshing.

I'm just to the point where I need to write about everything, and if it is something I'll talk about, why shouldn't I be able to post it on the internet where people I've never met might read it?



So again, thanks Lauren. Oh, and if you don't want to read a completely open, un-shy, every topic is discussed blog... blame her.

I just have to get over Steve's mom finding this and reading something about sex. Oh jeez.

The One I Fell in Love With

Look at this guy.

This was his 'uniform'.

He spends his days doing this...

Maybe even a little of this...

There was always time for this.

This was as complicated as his days got.

I really miss this.

What I would give to see this guy every day.

I was talking to a friend the other day about how different things were in high school. I just got to thinking about the things I miss about Steve. I miss that he was so carefree. Everything was all about fun. He didn't need to stress about money. He worked, but only enough to get by. His days were about fun. We could spend an entire day doing nothing. Or we could do everything.

I think maybe that is the best way to fall in love. When you don't have the hard things to bother you, everything is good.

Anyway, so I was thinking about how good it would be if things were back like that. How awesome would it be if Steve were home? It would be so cool if he got to go skating with his friends all the time. He could have a regular job, a regular life.

That would be perfect, right?

But then I really started thinking about it, and I realized that I wouldn't want it any other way.

I couldn't see Steve spending his life in a place like this. He's so much more.

The love of my life is meant to be in the military, and I wouldn't ask for anything else.

Thankful.

I really want to post something fun, or something about my day, but I can't really do that right now. Instead I'll tell you a story.

When I was in 8th grade, I thought it would be so cool to be in the army. Yeah, me of all people. This didn't last long, obviously. Anyway, there was a guy in one of my classes who also wanted to be in the army, and he was way into it. We talked a bit in high school as well, but weren't really close. The other day I was looking through facebook, finding people in my graduating class and saw him. For some reason, even though we hadn't talked for years, I added him. I looked at his page and didn't see anything military related, which I thought was a little weird, considering he'd always been so into it.

So today, about a week later, he added me back, so I figured I'd look at his page, see what he was up to. There were TONS of comments on his wall, people were saying they hoped he was doing ok and that he was in their prayers. It turns out that he is a Marine. He was in Afganistan, and just last week got hit by an IED. He lost one leg, and the other up to his knee.

This just breaks my heart. All this guy ever wanted was to serve his country. I remember him being big. Super tall, buff, confident. He played football, he always had something funny to say. I haven't talked to him about it, aside from a small comment on his facebook wall. But he was so thankful for all of the good thoughts from everyone.

It just made me think how much it would change everything if something like this happend to Steve. I really think it would break his spirit. It just hit me so hard to think of it like that.

I can honestly say I have no idea what a person is thinking when they join the military. I can't imagine doing it. I have nothing but respect for the people who volunteer to give up the lives they have to serve the country. My boyfriend did it, and I still don't understand it.

This guy is 19 years old. He spent his life waiting to serve is country, and he got to do it for such a short time. I can't imagine my dream being the thing that changed my life so much.

I'm 50!

Here's 50 things about me for my 50th post!

1. I’m addicted to sunflower seeds, this came from my years of playing softball.


2. I really like James Dean.

3. I tend to have a little piece of blue or green in my hair. The night before I went to Texas for Steve’s BMT graduation, I put green in my hair. I stress-color.

4. For being a hair stylist, I don’t change my hair color very often. I stay with a dark brown, or in cosmo speak, 4N.

5. I always have my toenails painted, I think it just looks wrong without it.

6. I scrapbook. I have an on going book about me and Steve, which I need to buy a few more books for.

7. I really like milk. Some people find that strange.

8. I love spaghetti too. That isn’t strange.

9. I recently stopped drinking soda, and have become even more addicted to coffee. I NEED it.

10. I love that Steve knows everything. Sometimes I might pretend to know a little less than I do, just so he can tell me more about it.

11. I like to have noise in the background. Sometimes music will do it, but a lot of time I need someone talking, so I put that TV on, or a youtube video.

12. I’m subscribed to a bunch of makeup channels on youtube, and I’ll watch the same videos multiple times.

13. I also reread a lot of books. If I like it the first time, knowing what happens doesn’t stop me from really getting into it again.

14. I played softball from the time I was 4 until my senior year.

15. I absolutely love cutting hair.

16. I have an anxiety disorder, which I’m coming to terms with and learning to handle.

17. I used to say that I didn’t want to have kids. I’m pretty sure this was when I became more aware of the birthing process.

18. I want three, while Steve wants one. We’ll see how that goes.

19. I wish I could shop more.

20. I love shoes. I really love heels, but don’t wear them much.

21. I’ve had a ton of cats in my life.

22. I’ve also had a bunch of dogs, a few horses, two birds, and some fish.

23. When I move to ND, I can’t have any pets.

24. When I was younger what I wanted to be when I grew up always depended on movies I’d watched at the time. Miss Congeniality made me want to be in the FBI. There was also military (yeah, lol), model, cop, and probably a few others. I think 4th grade was teacher.

25. I will be the first one of my starting group at cosmo school to graduate. I’m pretty sure everyone is shocked by that.

26. I have 14 piercings.

27. Steak is the greatest thing in life, especially when it’s rare.

28. My favorite color is green.

29. I’m 5’2”, and I have been since 7th grade.

30. I like white gold jewelry

31. Chocolate cake is lovely.

32. I could easily be a workout crazy person, I just don’t have an motivation.

33. I have been to Washington, Oregon, California, Montana, Idaho, Utah, Nevada, Arizona, Wyoming, Colorado, New Mexico, North Dakota, Kansas, and Texas.

34. I’ve lived in three states and 7 towns.

35. I really want Steve to get stationed in Germany once we’re married.

36. I lost my ability to tan when I moved out of California.

37. I have a freckle on my lower lip.

38. I love cooking and baking.

39. I would totally take a cake decorating class if I could.

40. Snakes and spiders creep me out.

41. I have an incredibly varied taste in music. Rap, R&B, pop, rock, alternative, classic rock, lots of other things. Oh, and recently I’ve started to enjoy country. Oh jeez.

42. I have had one job in my life. I worked at Kohls for two years, and it sucked. So I quit. By going on a road trip with Steve. Oops.

43. For someone who is unmarried and childless, I’m obsessed with weddings, pregnancy, and babies.

44. I have the hips of an old lady. Ouch.

45. The most useful thing I learned from high school was typing. Which is why I’m able to type this while keeping my eyes on Knocked Up.

46. I got my gag reflex from my dad. So anything gross in the morning makes me sick. Like cat puke.

47. I love to take super long showers.

48. I hate green eyes, and I love that. I think it’s an awesome eye color.

49. I watch a lot of TV. I have my shows, and they must be watched.

50. This was a really long list to make. Dang.

My world crumples in.

So I figured I would finally sit down and write about my anxiety and depression. That’s basically the reason I haven’t posted anything for a few days, so why not use it to get me started again?

I’ve only been aware of it for a few years, but I’ve always had anxiety. Even when I was little, I would get bad stomach aches before softball games or anything else that made me nervous. It got worse in high school. I felt sick every morning. If I had a class where I couldn’t leave, that was horrible. I felt trapped, and it always ended up with me having a stomach ache or feeling nauseated. I never thought much about it, I just thought I had a weird stomach issue. I took Pepto Bismol pills almost daily, and I swear, I’ll never take one again. It got better after my freshman year, but I never really knew when to expect it.

It still affects me similarly. If I’m in a situation that makes me uncomfortable, I feel sick. Taking long car trips makes me sick, especially if I’m not driving. I don’t like going places with people I’m not comfortable with. I don’t like not having access to a bathroom.

I eventually got a hang of things, and knew how to make it easier, and what situations to avoid. After high school, I signed up for classes at our community college, things were good, I felt ‘normal’ again. Then one day, I was reading an article in my sociology book about young people getting married and having babies, and all of a sudden I felt like crying, I thought I was having a heart attack, all kinds of fun things. I left class, and it turns out that I had a panic attack.

Anyway, after going to the doctor, a lot of talking about it, a lot of crying, now I’m on medicine that is anti-anxiety and also an anti-depressant.

Looking back, it really shows me how so many problems I had were actually symptoms of my anxiety and depression. In the past year, it has gotten worse, and the depression part has really come out.

There’s a lot more to it, but it’s hard for me to let it all out at once. I just had to talk about this because it has been affecting me so much lately. Like, I spend hours convincing myself that Steve doesn’t love me, or that I’ll never make it in the hair industry.

Every time I go to the doctor, he has to re-convince me that it isn’t my fault. I know that it is a chemical imbalance, but I still feel like this is something that I need to control. And sometimes it’s easy. Lately, I can’t handle it though.

Anyway, I decided to include some bits and pieces from WebMD, so here ya go. First off, are some symptoms, which I have all of them. I think a lot of people don’t connect the physical symptoms to depression, myself included. I guess I'm including it because things like this help me understand myself more. So maybe if there are people out there that need a little reassurance, I hope I can help.


I took my info from here

• Headaches.

• Back pain.

• Muscle aches and joint pain.

• Chest pain.

• Digestive problems.

• Exhaustion and fatigue.

• Sleeping problems.

• Change in appetite or weight.

• Dizziness or lightheadedness.

• Feeling sad, empty, hopeless, or numb.

• Loss of interest in things you used to enjoy.

• Irritability or anxiety.

• Trouble making decisions.

• Feeling guilty or worthless.

Depression and anxiety might seem like opposites. We think: Depression saps you of energy; anxiety makes you keyed up and afraid. Depression makes it near impossible to get out of bed; anxiety leaves you sleepless, pacing all night.

But the truth is not so simple. In fact, depression and anxiety often go together. Mental health experts estimate that more than half of the people diagnosed with depression also have anxiety. “We know that many of the symptoms of depression and anxiety disorders overlap,” says Ian A. Cook, MD, the director of the Depression Research Program at UCLA. “And we’re learning from studies that there also appears to be a lot of overlap in the underlying brain mechanisms involved in these two conditions.”

Unfortunately, the combination of depression and anxiety can be particularly severe, and many people don’t get the correct diagnosis. The good news is that doctors have good treatments for tackling both conditions.

“When you’re in the grip of depression and anxiety, it can feel like the misery will never end, that you’ll never recover,” says Dean F. MacKinnon, MD, an associate professor at the Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore. “But people do recover. You just need to find the right treatment.”

Understanding Depression and Anxiety

Although either depression or anxiety can be a disabling condition on its own, the combination can be particularly hard. “If you’re already depressed, anxiety is a multiplier of suffering,” MacKinnon says.

Depression can make feel people profoundly discouraged, helpless, and hopeless. Anxiety can make them agitated and besieged by physical symptoms -- a pounding heart, tightness in the chest, and difficulty breathing.

“People who have both depression and anxiety feel low, down in the dumps, and unmotivated,” says Jerilyn Ross, MA, LICSW, president and CEO of the Anxiety Disorders Association of America. “But their minds are also racing, they can’t concentrate, they can’t sit still. It’s a very tough combination.”

It’s also tough to control. “It’s important for people to recognize that when they have both depression and anxiety, it may be more difficult for them to get all the way well,” Cook tells WebMD. That’s not to say they won’t recover fully, but that it may take more work, he says.

People diagnosed with both depression and anxiety tend to have

• More severe symptoms

• More functional impairment

• More trouble finding the right treatment

• A higher risk of suicide

Some people who are depressed have a distinct anxiety disorder, like panic disorder, social anxiety disorder, or generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), Ross says. Many others don’t have full-fledged anxiety disorders, but more general anxiety symptoms that accompany their depression.

The fact that depression and anxiety so often co-occur has led some researchers to speculate -- controversially -- that they may not always be different conditions. “It’s possible that in time, we’ll come to see anxiety and depression together as representing a distinct illness separate from either condition by itself,” Cook says.

L is for the way you look at me...

Things I plan to post about: my anxiety and my graduation. I need an upper post right now, and I don't have my graduation pictures yet. So here's a mushy post.

*disclaimer* This is super sappy. If you don't like that, or it makes you gag, that sucks.


One of the things I really love about Steve is how he knows everything. There is rarely a time that he can't answer a question I have. He knows everything about cars. He knows random facts. He knows a lot about history. I think he really loves learning things. He watches the History Channel, and How Things Are Made, all of that. And then he remembers everything he saw. When he left for boot camp, I had to return a library book for him. It was about relativity. He got it because he thought it looked interesting.

The other day I told him that I missed that, and then asked him a string of the most ridiculous questions. He laughed, called me cute, and then answered all of them.

I guess one of the reasons I love it so much is because it's part of the reason I know he can take care of me. I grew up with my dad as the main example of what a husband should be, and it definately formed what I expect a man to be. My dad was always the one doing "man jobs", and I always wanted someone who can do that too. Someone who can build things, do the yardwork, fix the car, all of that. It isn't just about doing stuff either. A lot of it is the mindset that he has. He's a provider. He takes care of people. He's a problem fixer.

Yeah, I love Steve a lot.

I wrote this letter to him 2/13/2009
Steve-

I just thought this would be a pretty good time to tell you just how amazing you are. You see, when say things like no one is cooler than you, I'm completely serious. You are the greatest person I've ever known and I can't imagine how empty my life would be without you in it. I love you so much.
I'm so proud of you for what you have done. When you first told me you wanted to be in the military, I was shocked. I didn't think it fit you. Now, seeing you here, I was absolutely wrong. I'm so happy that you like it so much. I've never met anyone like you. You are good at every single thing you try.
Everything about you makes me so happy. Being here in Texas has made me realize how much I miss just holding your hand, kissing your cheek, and feeling your skin. No one else means what you do to me.
I'm so happy that I get to see you all day tomorrow. I hope the next two days don't fly by. I want to get all the time with you that I can.
I love you Steve. More than I've ever loved anyone.

A little bit of us.

1. What are your middle names?
Mine is Alexis. He likes to try to call me Lexie, but I’m not down with that. Which is why he still does it. His is Conant, which is a family name. I thought it was totally weird when I first heard it, but now I’m used to it. And I’m supposed to give it to one of my kids.

2. How long have you been together?
We went to our junior prom in 2007, and it’s pretty much gone from there. We were “official” May 07, broke up Nov 07, and have been together again since May 08.

3. How long did you know each other before you started dating?
About 7 or 8 months. We were friends will all of the same people.

4. Who asked who out?
He asked me to be his girlfriend. And then the second time around, it just happened, and one day he referred to me as his girlfriend.

5. How old are each of you?
He’s 18 and I’m 19. I’m an old lady.

6. Did you go to the same school?
He transferred to my high school junior year.

7. Are you from the same home town?
We were both born in CA. He lived here since he was 4 or so, and I moved here when I was 9.

8. Who is the smartest?
I’m pretty book smart, but he knows EVERYTHING ABOUT EVERYTHING.

9. Who majored in what?
He dropped out of high school to enlist, and I only went to our community college for a semester. But I’m about to graduate cosmetology school.

10. Who is the most sensitive?
Me. 345234523452345 times me.

11. Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
We drove from AZ to MT to ND.

12. Who has the worst temper?
Ugh. Me. Well, towards each other. We both get pretty feisty with other people, but he very rarely gets mad at me.

13. How many children do you want?
I want three. He wants one. So it will probably be 2, which I think will actually fit us pretty well. Until that third one comes along.

14. Who does the cooking?
We haven’t lived together yet, but when we do it will probably be me because of our schedules. Plus, I like cooking for people. He’s amazing in the kitchen though.

15. Who is more social?
Well….. I don’t know. We both have pretty high standards for people, but we can get along with people fairly well. We just make fun of them later.

16. Who is the neat freak?
Uh….

17. Who is the most stubborn?
Oh jeez both of us..

18. Who wakes up earlier?
Him. For sure. Even on vacation he’s up by 7.

19. Where was your first date?
Prom.

20. Who has the bigger family?
I think I do, but his is more confusing. They are all remarried and step-this, step-that.

21. Do you get flowers often?
Nope.

22. How do you spend the holidays?
I would like to thank the AF for us not having a Christmas together yet. We have had one Thanksgiving together and we went to my aunt’s house.

23. Who is more jealous?
Neither of us. Well, I’m jealous of the AF, but whatever.

24. How long did it take to get serious?
Not very long, even though we started dating in high school.

25. Who eats more?
Him. He’s a beast.

26. What do you do for a living?
He’s in the Air Force, and I’m a student, but I’ll be getting a job as a hair stylist soon.

27. Who does the laundry?
I like doing his laundry cause I’m weird.

28. Who's better with the computer?
I don’t know.

29. Who drives when you are together?
It depends, but I prefer when he drives.

30. What is your song?
We don’t have one.

Us playing basketball junior year

My rad Friday night and my rad brother. Raddddddd

My Friday night:

I went and picked up Panda Express with my brother, and we rocked out to Tim McGraw. Yeah... All out singing, cellphones as microphones, and all that. And now we're home watching The Secret Life of the American Teenager (longest show title ever), and internet surfing. My nights are pretty wild.

Let me tell you about my brother. I haven't talked about my family too much. My brother is awesome. Obviously, since he's hanging out with me on a Friday night. I'm doing in in bullet points, since thats how I like it.
-He just turned 13 last month
-He's 5'7", a good 5 inches taller than me
-He has the feet to match
-He's jocky, he plays football
-He's also artistic and loves to draw
-He's the nicest 13 year old boy ever
-He's not a douche like some little boys are
-We like to sing in the car together
-He'll spend an entire Saturday at school with me
-He's super cute
-Girls at his school love him
-But he doesn't have time for them
-He's always played dress up with me, still to this day
-His name is Elijah, but that's his "your in trouble" name, otherwise it's Sugg (like sugar)
-He started off as Sugar Bear, then Suggie Bear, then Suggie, and now he's Sugg

2002

 

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