He's everywhere.

Today was my first day back to school. My first day back to school after three years. My first day back to school after decided I want to do something new. You would think that I would be excited about being in school. Which, I am. I was.

The weird thing is though is that today was one of the days where I remember that Steve is everywhere here. I forgot about the last time I was in school. He worked in the bookstore, and I would visit him between classes. We would have lunch together. I would ditch class and he would skip work and we'd watch movies and cuddle and eat pizza all day. That was our last time together before he left for boot camp. He left two days before the semester ended.

That is what I thought of the whole time I was at school. I miss my husband.

Douche.

Last night (because I don't sleep for hours), I was thinking about the last fight me and Steve had. It made me laugh, because we fought about the dumbest things. It wasn't a serious fight, but he PISSED ME OFF!

I can't remember exactly which day it was, but it was either the day after we got married, or the next day. Whichever day it was, we were buying my car and running tons of errands. Well, we had planned on running tons of errands. We did a few things, and then went to the social security office to change my name. After that we had to go to the DMV, and then back to my dad's work to finish the paperwork for the car.

When I get hungry, I get really hungry really fast. And then I get bitchy. Well, as we were waiting, I realized I was starving. Steve said I had to wait until after the DMV, so we knew we had time. I was SO MAD. How long did it take to go through a freaking drive through? 

So, yes, our first married fight, and our last fight ever, was about me being hungry. I find that hilarious.

Can't Follow the Rules [Day Three]

Day 03- A recent picture of you and your friends. And a truth- Something you have to forgive yourself for. 




I'm really bad at following directions, so instead I chose a picture from over two years ago. I just got my computer working again, so now I have access to all of my old pictures, and I found this one and it made me smile. This is me, Steve, and Lauren graduation night. This was a happy night. 

It's pretty hard to think of something I need to forgive myself for. I'm pretty good at letting things go, at least when it comes to things I do. I don't really regret much. I don't really think I can pick something. I'm pretty at peace with things I've done in my life. This seems like a bullshit answer, but I really can't think of anything. I am aware that this could be denial though. Just sayin'.

Going backwards to go forward.

 I'm sure my title makes little to no sense. That might be because it is 4:45am and I haven't gone to bed yet. As I've mentioned, I recently moved. Yes, at 20 years old, I just now moved out of my parents' house. And yes, I made the huge leap, and am now living with my sister and her husband.

I'm refinishing a bunch of stuff to pull together my room. I'll do a post on that later, once I actually finish a project. In the midst of all this moving, I've been making multiple trips trying to get all of my things from my parents' house. I finally found a few boxes I was looking for, which had a lot of the stuff I saved from my childhood.


When I got to the box with old toys, I was surprised that I remembered all of it. The first picture shows some of my baby doll clothes. I loved dolls. Everything in the first picture is special though, because my grandma made it. The big blanket on the bottom matches the diaper bag. She also made matching outfits for me! My sister always got similar items, but usually in different colors. My grandma is BA. (If you don't know Caitlin-speak, that means badass. Don't tell her I said that though. I don't say stuff like that in front of her.)

And then I found some of my Barbie clothes. There was a gallon sized ziploc bag stuffed full of clothes. The sad thing is, I know I have a ton more somewhere else, in addition to a bunch more Barbies. As you can see, Rex didn't really know what to thing. Maybe it was the butchered 80's style bangs my sister or I gave the doll.

Bonus shot: one of many mermaid outfits we had. I have no idea why we had so many. Also! Multiple gymnastics outfits.

Some things I didn't see- My scuba diving Barbie, my sleeping Barbie, whose eyes 'closed' with warm (or cold?) water, my Ken who grows a beard with warm water, and "shaves" with cold water, my Barbie salon furniture, my stove, and OH MY GOODNESS the memories are flying back. I had way too much stuff.

I even had a 'candy shop' that molded Bubble Yum into different shapes. Oy.

Bonus story time... I had a Pocahontas Barbie that came with a bunch of accessories, including a fish. I cooked that fish over a lamp. That went well. Really.

Our Story Part II

See Our Story Part I

Anyway, it was getting to the point where I was ok being alone. I still missed him, but I could deal with it. We still talked all of the time and he was my best friend. Next thing I knew, it was time for me to graduate high school. His brother, Scott, and Lauren were my closest friends. We set it up so Lauren and (her now ex boyfriend, but still good friend) Dylan would walk together, and Scott and I would be right behind them. I got my dress, got my shoes, all of that. I was so excited to finally be done with high school!

So the day of my graduation was finally here! It was in a local hockey/event stadium, which was cool. I remember walking out, holding Scott's wrist with a death grip, since my heels kept slipping on the floor. I looked in the first row, and saw Steve, for the first time in 6 months. Oh my gosh. It all rushed right back, every feeling that I had held down. After graduation, Lauren was going to go to my house to get ready for the grad night party. We went outside to her car, and it was super cold and raining. We passed by Scott and Steve in the parking lot, and as I stood there shivering in my dress, I told Steve his jacket looked really warm. He said, "Yeah, it is." and walked away. What a charmer.

So eventually it worked out (I think it was Lauren's doing) that Steve went to our grad night party. I knew right thten that we would end up together again. We stayed at the party until it ended, at 3am. I'll just say, I have no interest in hypnotists. But I sure stayed and watched. After the party, me, Steve, and Lauren went to Denny's, until finally going home at about 4 or 5 in the morning.

The next day, we made plans to hang out soon.

So once we finally fit our plans together to hang out, I went over to his house, and I brought Juno and The Notebook. We ended up watching The Notebook, then Juno, and then A Goofy movie. Being me, I started a tickle fight, which resulted in us wrestling all over the bed. Eventually, I got him pinned, we had a movie-worthy-moment of eye contact, and then he leaned up an kissed me. That kiss changed my life.

Our relationship started out slow, but once it started to get serious, it took off from there.

The Dating Game

When I was in 6th grade I moved from AZ to MT. My dad’s family was in MT, but I didn’t know anyone there my age. I started school in the middle of the school year. They “assigned” me to another girl, so I would have someone to show me around, help me meet people, and all of that. Anyway, I quickly became friends with her friends, and a few of them decided that I should have a boyfriend, since I hadn’t had one before. Since this was the world of complex dating, they picked the guy for me, only wanting to know if I thought he was cute. His name was Garrett, he was super cute, and one of the most popular guys in our grade. I would stand by the field during lunch while he played football, and then he’d call me every night. Big romance, I know.




So, three weeks later, I’m informed by two girls that he’s breaking up with me. This was right before Christmas break. That night I told my mom I had a boyfriend and needed to get him a Christmas present. I got him a box of chocolates, and gave it to him the next day in PE, saying that I already had it, so I figured I would give it to him.



Yeah, I was smooth.