Here are some things I've learned about myself since Steve has been in the military.
1. A 4 am phone call never bothers me.
2. When I can say he’s ‘only’ been gone a month.
3. The smallest text or call can make my day.
4. A text or call when I’m not expecting it makes me giddy.
5. The preview for Dear John made me cry, and I watch the military commercials
6. My pajamas consist of Steve’s t-shirts and some shorts.
7. I wasn’t keeping track, and I realized it had been 4 months since I’d seen Steve
8. I’m love his voicemails.
9. Since BMT, it has become a habit to check the mail.
10. I still write letters, I just keep them.
11.A phone call to say goodnight makes me smile.
12. If I don’t hear from him OF COURSE something is wrong. I’m growing out of this one.
13. I can honestly say the time apart gave our relationship strength.
14. I feel bad about things like Steve not going to a Super Bowl party.
15. When people complain about not seeing their spouses for a few days or a week, I just want to go off.
16. ABUs are the best thing in the world.
17. I’ve never dealt with this range emotions. I can feel a thousand different things in five minutes. And I can’t stay mad at him.
18. I’ve developed a habit of never being without my phone.
19. I feel like a failure if I miss a call.
20. I’ve developed a love for uniforms.
21. I have to remember that people might be a little shocked when I tell them what Steve does. And I’ve told so many people in “dummy” terms that the other day I blanked when telling an AF vet.
22. Seeing each other for a weekend is amazing.
23. I’ve learned military time… kind of.
24. Staying up until all hours to talk on the phone is a given.
25. An “I love you” over the phone makes all my problems go away.
26. I’ll be mad at him for not calling, but when it’s because of work, that’s no problem.
27. Listening to the same voicemails never gets old.
28. I love military movies.
29. I reread letters, texts, emails, and myspace messages.
30. It doesn’t shock me when plans are changed.
31. I’ve set my alarm for 4 am so I can call him before he goes to work.
32. I have to fight to not snap when someone asks me if I miss him, when they say “I couldn’t do it”, when they tell me about their sister/friend/cousin with a military spouse.
None of these things make me feel better. Really. No, I don’t miss him. I really like the space. He was getting a little clingy. You don’t think you can do it? I wonder that often myself. You know what? It’s because he means everything to me, and he loves the Air Force. Oh, and even if you think so, it doesn’t make me feel better to know how long it has been since your sister has seen her husband.
I can't tell you how many of those things I've also learned to do. I used to write letters to Nick even though we were able to talk almost everyday just because I missed him so much. And yes, my phone was ALWAYS by me. I learned that the hard way when he was in Basic. I missed TWO of his calls. =[ You just don't get over that.
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