cosmetology and combat boots

I figured out my problem. I’m always waiting for what I want. Always. First I was waiting to graduate high school, so I could go to beauty school. Then my parents said I had to get a degree before they would pay for it. Luckily, that only lasted a semester. Then I waited to finish school.






Oh, and it happens with Steve too. I waited for him to finish boot camp and tech school. Then we had to wait for a new class for tech school, so he was there a month longer. Then there was the constant waiting until the next time we saw each other. Then, we were waiting for me to graduate so I could move up there.



That’s about where we are now. And still waiting. Oh, I forgot to share the good news. I got a job. Yeah, I called this lady about a job, one of my clients get her nails done there, and she recommended me. I went in, expecting an interview. Basically she just told me about the salon and how everything works. I had the job just like that. It’s a booth rental, so I just pay her rent every week, and basically run my own business out of her salon.



Awesome, right? Yeah I thought so too. Except I have no money to get started with. I need rent money, I need my own products, I need color. It really isn’t a lot. But I have NOTHING.



So what, I finally finish cosmo school, and I go work at a restaurant or department store, just so I can afford the job I want?



I just don’t know where to go from here. I thought about getting a small loan, but I have no income, no credit, nothing. My parents won’t cosign, Steve thinks I’m crazy for getting a loan. I don’t know what to do. I guess I have to get a job, but I don’t want to. I know that might sound stupid, but I feel like I’m at my breaking point right now. I don’t know how much longer I can keep waiting.

It doesn’t help that I’m constantly waiting on my relationship with Steve. And I will be for as long as he is in the military. Nothing ever is just easy. Boot camp was basically the last thing that went like it was supposed to. Tech school was a month longer than it was supposed to be. Then he got stationed in the shittiest place ever. I don’t WANT to move to North Dakota. I can deal with it though, but it’s just another thing under the negatives. Man, I can’t believe how bad it was when I had to wait 3 months to see him. Here I am, almost 8 months out.



So now Steve is going on a TDY. Far, far away until October. That will be more than a year of us not seeing each other. I feel bad complaining about it, because he’s not deployed. I don’t have to deal with being terrified for his safety. That’s a big part of it though. Bear with me before you let that bother you.



Steve isn’t in a warzone. He’s not stuck across the ocean. Well, now he’s going to be, but he hasn’t been for the last 6 months. He’s been 1600 miles away. That's it. Easy flying distance. I just don’t understand how we just haven’t figured out a way to see each other for this long. It’s like, of course he has to go away now. Because we weren’t using the time we had.

Alright, so I’ll get through the next five months. I have no idea how the hell I’m going to do it, but I will. I don’t have any other choice. I love him so much, I’ll always wait.

So guess what happens after that! He’ll be back in ND for a few months, and then he’s off to Korea for a year. Really? Come on.

Yeah, so I got it all out.







Oh, let me add. Steve thinks that once I start working, it will be easier for me and I won’t miss him as much. Yeah right. Thanks babe, but no, that’s not how it works. I wish I could compartmentalize like you.