Disclaimer- This post is useless.

I don't have time for my normal stuff anymore. Cooking, watching tv, scrap booking. I either am working or attempting to wind down.

Such as right now. I got off work at 8:30ish, and after finally filling my gas tank, I got home around 9. My normal thing to do is watch TV and mess around on the internet. Specifically watch Bones on Netflix and check my Google Reader. I want to blog. I do. I need to get my thoughts out. I love having my life recorded on here. I just can't get my brain in the right mode. This is as close as it gets.

What cooking does for me.

Please don't judge me for my cellphone picture. ;)

I love cooking. I love baking. I just love being in the kitchen. I love putting all the steps together, and coming up with something delicious. Cooking is therapeutic for me. It makes me feel calm and happy.

So, I think I'm going to start posting more food. Recipes I've made, all that stuff. Maybe eventually I'll start a separate blog just for food. We'll see.



And to start off, I made taco salad tonight. It was the best taco salad I'd ever had. So I guess I'll put the recipe here, even though I sort of winged everything. I'll make it for two people, since I made enough to have it for lunch tomorrow, aside from the shell.

Shells:
2 flour torillas
cooking spray or olive oil

Taco filling:
1/2 lb ground turkey
1 cup rice, cooked
1 can of black beans
1 T cumin
salt and pepper

Salad:
Romain lettuce
1 avocado
1/2 cup shredded cheese
Salsa
Optional, dressing

Heat oven to 400. Slightly warm the tortillas in the microwave, about 10 seconds. Turn two ramekins upside down on a baking sheet, and spray with cooking spray. Lay tortillas over ramekins and spray the top. Bake for about 10 minutes or until brown.

Brown turkey. Add garlic, cook another 2-3 minutes. Mix in rice, beans, and seasoning. Set aside. If you are going to be using dressing, toss that with lettuce, and add to taco bowls. I used a little bit of a garlic dressing. Top lettuce with meat mixture, and add whatever toppings you'd like.

So good.

Employment

So. I'm now employed. I think it is terrible that I already know I won't like it. I've worked 4 days. That's it. It's sort of nice having something to do. It's nice having somewhere to go. I don't mind how tired I am. I just hate retail. It rots my brain. I'm a hair stylist, not a retail slave. That sounds so arrogant. I'm lucky to have a job, but I guess in a way I feel like I deserve more.

I don't want to go into specifics on where I work, but I work in a store (duh) at a booth where we sell cell phones. Nothing too bad, I don't really mind it. The part that I don't like is that it isn't doing hair. I spent a year of my life going to school and working my ass off to be good at hair, so I could get licensed to do hair, so I could get a job doing hair. It got me nowhere.

The only salon jobs out here are booth rental which totally sucks. I can't afford to pay rent to work right now. On top of that I would have to pay for all of my product and equipment. I also have a teensy clientèle since I'm just out of school.

Part of me is scared that I'll forget. Practice makes perfect, and the more I was doing hair the better and faster I was. I don't want to have to start all over. Also, who wants to hire someone who doesn't have a job for 6 months after they graduate school, and then that job is selling phones? Really?

I feel like I've failed. Steve is the only person I can talk to about it, and he doesn't get it. I mean, he understands the concept of why I feel bad, but he thinks the fact that I have any job at all is great. Which it is, don't get me wrong. I'm really glad I was able to find a job when there are so few here. I enjoy money. Really.

How can I not feel bad though? All through cosmo school, and even after, people kept telling me how they just KNEW I would do good. They knew I would be successful. How can I do that when I can't even get a job? I honestly don't think I'll get a job as a stylist until I move out somewhere else.

I have newses! Yes, newses.

I am a terrible blogger. I've admitted it in the past, and I'll admit it now. I suck.

I actually have a pretty good excuse this time! I moved. I didn't move very far, but I did in fact move. I probably lived with my parents longer than any of my friends. Hell, Steve moved out when he was 16. Anyway, I'm 20, and I'm now out of my parents home.

This might sound weird, but let me tell you something. I would probably be fine if I lived with my parents until I moved with Steve. However, I have some things I want. I want to know that I can take care of myself. I want to be able to live on my own before I spend the rest of my life living with someone. Ok, so I didn't make a huge leap right away. I moved in with my sister and her husband. I'm taking baby steps though. I'm hoping to be in my own place by the end of the year.


I WILL be buying a new charger for my laptop next week, so I really hope to get back into the swing of blogging.

And just for a bonus, here's two of my new roomies.

Let's talk Steven.

So I just realized, I haven't talked about Steve much lately. Usually I can't shut up about the guy.

Well, first let's talk about what he's been up to. He went TDY to Guam at the beginning of June. From what I've always heard was that those last weeks, or maybe a month or two. Wellll, Steve will be there until November. The way he explained it to me was that he will most likely be there 179 days, because at 180 days it is considered a tour of duty. He said he probably wouldn't leave any earlier, because they want him there the max time. He also said that even if he did go over the 179 days, they could say "Hey, jk, no TOD, but here's a pin."

Oh how I love the Air Force.

So right now, I'll most likely see Steve in less than 100 days. I'll get to see him after not seeing him for over a year. I am so excited.

And then it'll all go away, because he'll be leaving for Korea for a year. I keep begging him to just let me go with him, and we'll do the two year thing. For some reason he thinks that's a bad idea. Heh.

So back to Guam. Steve was excited to travel. That was a big part of why he wanted to be in the AF.

Here's something about Steve. He changes his mind more than anyone I know. He always likes something different, wants something different, is going to do something different. Sometimes I joke that I'm the only thing he's liked for a significant amount of time. So, because of his mind changing, he decided he's tired of being on an island. He hates palm trees. He doesn't like the beach. He misses North Dakota.

I had to remind him that he had a long list of reasons why he hated North Dakota, and how he said he would never go back. Hmmm.

In the kitchen.

I've been cooking a lot lately. There is something so therapeutic about it for me. It calms me. It's comforting. It keeps my mind off of everything else.

Mostly what I love is baking. I love to bake. Cookies, cakes, brownies, bread- anything really. It's funny, a big part of what I like about cooking is the order of it. You have to do the steps right. You have to measure right. Strangely though, another thing I like about it is tweaking the recipe. It is very common for me to change something. For example, last night I made zucchini muffins, but instead of cinnamon, I used cocoa powder, and then drizzled chocolate on top. Not a huge change, but it made it mine.

I guess that says a lot about how I am about most things. I tend to change things in some way that fits me more. I'd rather change other things than change myself. That can be a good thing or a bad thing. But it's me.

Finally.

I think things are finally pulling together. My birthday was yesterday, so I guess that gave me some luck.


Nothing is set in stone, so I don't want to talk about it quite yet, but here's a few teasers...


I'll probably be moving out soon. The money thing isn't sucking as bad right now. Basically things are looking up.



I'm sorry for the lamest post ever.