He's not going to Iraq! BEST NEWS EVERRRRR.
Today was a good day. I had class, and then tonight I did a full head of highlights, color correction, and haircut. Nice.
Oh, and it's cool how my Wednesday post got posted early. I didn't mean to post wordless wednesday on monday. I'm smarter than that, I swear.
Dear Air Force,
I'm sorry for momentarily hating you. I'm sorry for saying you're ruining my life.Thank you for not sending my boyfriend to Iraq. You rule.
Love, Caitlin
PS. I'm still a little peeved at you. I can't move to be with Steve until October. That's almost two years of being apart. You should make it up to me.
Dear Steve,
I'm really sorry for being bitchy. I complain to you about things because you're the only other person that is going through this with me. I love oyu so much and you're my best friend. ilybb.
Cait
Dear my freaking school,
You blow. I just want to graduate.
I hate you,
Caitlin
February 23, 2010
February 22, 2010
Rantfest.
Today is not one of the good days. I'm so tired of dealing with crap.
First off, my whole plan got screwed up. I was going to graduate, go see Steve, come back, and work here until August. I would save as much money as I could, and then I would move up there with him. Well, that's not going to happen now, because he's going on a deployment for 345234523453245 years. Or 4-12 months. Something like that.
Second, I've always known that Steve's family talks shit about each other. If someone isn't around, they are talked about. His aunt talks about his mom being a horrible parent. His grandma complains about his aunt. His brother doesn't know what he's doing in live. Blah blah blah. Like I said, I've known this for awhile. I always assumed they talked about me too, but I never knew what was said. Well, here are a few things.
1. I have a drinking problem.
2. I need to get away from my mom.
3. Steve promised his mom he wouldn't marry me because he likes the attention he's getting from her.
I don't know wehre theses people come up with these things. Obviously, none of them are true. They heard about one time I got pretty smashed at his cousin's house. I never talk about my mom with them. Nothing negative at least. How horrible that I didn't move out the second I turned 18. Honestly. I told Steve about that last part, and he was pretty shocked. I guess since he's used to it, it doesn't get to him, bit I'm pissed. Anyway, vent over.
I've been a really crappy blogger lately because our internet got shut up. Boo. I'll try harder!
First off, my whole plan got screwed up. I was going to graduate, go see Steve, come back, and work here until August. I would save as much money as I could, and then I would move up there with him. Well, that's not going to happen now, because he's going on a deployment for 345234523453245 years. Or 4-12 months. Something like that.
Second, I've always known that Steve's family talks shit about each other. If someone isn't around, they are talked about. His aunt talks about his mom being a horrible parent. His grandma complains about his aunt. His brother doesn't know what he's doing in live. Blah blah blah. Like I said, I've known this for awhile. I always assumed they talked about me too, but I never knew what was said. Well, here are a few things.
1. I have a drinking problem.
2. I need to get away from my mom.
3. Steve promised his mom he wouldn't marry me because he likes the attention he's getting from her.
I don't know wehre theses people come up with these things. Obviously, none of them are true. They heard about one time I got pretty smashed at his cousin's house. I never talk about my mom with them. Nothing negative at least. How horrible that I didn't move out the second I turned 18. Honestly. I told Steve about that last part, and he was pretty shocked. I guess since he's used to it, it doesn't get to him, bit I'm pissed. Anyway, vent over.
I've been a really crappy blogger lately because our internet got shut up. Boo. I'll try harder!
February 18, 2010
Difficult times.
Today was a really hard day. I need to be with Steve. This sucks. Six months is a freaking long time and this is hellish.
I want to cuddle. I miss being touched. I miss backrubs. I miss holding hands. I miss sprawling across his body and falling asleep.
He's the love of my life and I hate that I have to be apart from him
He's my best friend and I hate not having him around.
He makes me feel better than anyone else and I hate that he's not here to destress me.
I am so sick of school. 13 school days left. It isn't long at all but time is dragging ass. GAH
I want to cuddle. I miss being touched. I miss backrubs. I miss holding hands. I miss sprawling across his body and falling asleep.
He's the love of my life and I hate that I have to be apart from him
He's my best friend and I hate not having him around.
He makes me feel better than anyone else and I hate that he's not here to destress me.
I am so sick of school. 13 school days left. It isn't long at all but time is dragging ass. GAH
February 17, 2010
I don't even know...
I don't have internet at home for awhile so I "blogged" this in Microsoft Word on Monday, and now I'm at the library, and have nothing else to say. Ugh.
I’m good at school. I know that’s sort of a weird thing to say, but that’s pretty much it. I’m a good student. I always got good grades. I never had to try very hard either. I think this was a blessing and a curse. When I was younger, I was so far ahead of the curve that I could put in average effort and got above average results. I never had to study for tests. I always finished homework in no time at all. Because of this, I kept it up through high school. Once I got to high school, I had those same habits, but they didn’t get me as far. Yes, I still got good grades. But I didn’t excel. That was fine for me. I had gotten so used to not having to try, that I didn’t want to put in the extra effort.
I wish I had tried more. I wish that I had the drive.
I’m good at school. I know that’s sort of a weird thing to say, but that’s pretty much it. I’m a good student. I always got good grades. I never had to try very hard either. I think this was a blessing and a curse. When I was younger, I was so far ahead of the curve that I could put in average effort and got above average results. I never had to study for tests. I always finished homework in no time at all. Because of this, I kept it up through high school. Once I got to high school, I had those same habits, but they didn’t get me as far. Yes, I still got good grades. But I didn’t excel. That was fine for me. I had gotten so used to not having to try, that I didn’t want to put in the extra effort.
I wish I had tried more. I wish that I had the drive.
February 14, 2010
Teary!
Everything makes me cry! Not sad sobbing crying, but tearing up.
Military proposals? Understandable.
Some chick winning some event in the Olympics? WHY!?
They just replayed it and I felt it again. Oh goodness.
I think this means I need a good cry.
Military proposals? Understandable.
Some chick winning some event in the Olympics? WHY!?
They just replayed it and I felt it again. Oh goodness.
I think this means I need a good cry.
Blogger is my therapy.
Here's an interesting read: Not even labor contractions could keep a woman from driving to meet her husband as the guardsman returned home from Iraq.
I keep thinking of things to write about, but none of them are sticking. Since today is Valentine's Day, I've been thinking a lot about all of the holidays that I've been without Steve. Two Christmases, two New Years, two Valentines, The Fourth of July, and many other little ones.
Since I've seen him?
158 days.
22 1/2 weeks.
6 months.
That's half a year. My goodness.
I've had all of this weighing down on me in the days leading up to today. I got a text from Steve just past midnight wishing me a happy Valentines Day, and saying that he loved me. Then, the first thing I saw when I got on the computer this morning, was an email from a fellow blogger. She just thought to send me an email because as a fellow mil-spouse, she knows what it is like to spend holidays apart. That really lifted my spirits.
It really reminded me of why I blog. It helps to get all of the feelings out, and it is so nice having a community of people that have been through what I'm going through. I've had a few friends who were mil-spouses, but they either moved to be with them or the relationships ended. A lot of people at school are sympathetic, but it doesn't mean as much when they don't know what it is like.
When I see how many other women do this, and do it with strength, it gives me hope. I want to be a strong person. I want to be successful, have hobbies, have friends. I want to be busy. I'm getting there.
Being with Steve is worth all of this. Even when I just get to see him for a week, it is worth every day of waiting. I think Mrs. G.I. Joe says it the best in her post at ACU's, Stiletto Shoes, and Pretty Pink Tutus
"If he were only able to be home 1 single day a year for the rest of our lives I'd still be happier with him then I would be with anyone else. "
But I still can't wait to see him every day. To wake up next to him. To spend holidays together.
I keep thinking of things to write about, but none of them are sticking. Since today is Valentine's Day, I've been thinking a lot about all of the holidays that I've been without Steve. Two Christmases, two New Years, two Valentines, The Fourth of July, and many other little ones.
Since I've seen him?
158 days.
22 1/2 weeks.
6 months.
That's half a year. My goodness.
I've had all of this weighing down on me in the days leading up to today. I got a text from Steve just past midnight wishing me a happy Valentines Day, and saying that he loved me. Then, the first thing I saw when I got on the computer this morning, was an email from a fellow blogger. She just thought to send me an email because as a fellow mil-spouse, she knows what it is like to spend holidays apart. That really lifted my spirits.
It really reminded me of why I blog. It helps to get all of the feelings out, and it is so nice having a community of people that have been through what I'm going through. I've had a few friends who were mil-spouses, but they either moved to be with them or the relationships ended. A lot of people at school are sympathetic, but it doesn't mean as much when they don't know what it is like.
When I see how many other women do this, and do it with strength, it gives me hope. I want to be a strong person. I want to be successful, have hobbies, have friends. I want to be busy. I'm getting there.
Being with Steve is worth all of this. Even when I just get to see him for a week, it is worth every day of waiting. I think Mrs. G.I. Joe says it the best in her post at ACU's, Stiletto Shoes, and Pretty Pink Tutus
"If he were only able to be home 1 single day a year for the rest of our lives I'd still be happier with him then I would be with anyone else. "
But I still can't wait to see him every day. To wake up next to him. To spend holidays together.
February 13, 2010
Our Story Part II
See Our Story Part I
Anyway, it was getting to the point where I was ok being alone. I still missed him, but I could deal with it. We still talked all of the time and he was my best friend. Next thing I knew, it was time for me to graduate high school. His brother, Scott, and Lauren were my closest friends. We set it up so Lauren and (her now ex boyfriend, but still good friend) Dylan would walk together, and Scott and I would be right behind them. I got my dress, got my shoes, all of that. I was so excited to finally be done with high school!
Anyway, it was getting to the point where I was ok being alone. I still missed him, but I could deal with it. We still talked all of the time and he was my best friend. Next thing I knew, it was time for me to graduate high school. His brother, Scott, and Lauren were my closest friends. We set it up so Lauren and (her now ex boyfriend, but still good friend) Dylan would walk together, and Scott and I would be right behind them. I got my dress, got my shoes, all of that. I was so excited to finally be done with high school!
So the day of my graduation was finally here! It was in a local hockey/event stadium, which was cool. I remember walking out, holding Scott's wrist with a death grip, since my heels kept slipping on the floor. I looked in the first row, and saw Steve, for the first time in 6 months. Oh my gosh. It all rushed right back, every feeling that I had held down. After graduation, Lauren was going to go to my house to get ready for the grad night party. We went outside to her car, and it was super cold and raining. We passed by Scott and Steve in the parking lot, and as I stood there shivering in my dress, I told Steve his jacket looked really warm. He said, "Yeah, it is." and walked away. What a charmer.
So eventually it worked out (I think it was Lauren's doing) that Steve went to our grad night party. I knew right thten that we would end up together again. We stayed at the party until it ended, at 3am. I'll just say, I have no interest in hypnotists. But I sure stayed and watched. After the party, me, Steve, and Lauren went to Denny's, until finally going home at about 4 or 5 in the morning.
The next day, we made plans to hang out soon.
So once we finally fit our plans together to hang out, I went over to his house, and I brought Juno and The Notebook. We ended up watching The Notebook, then Juno, and then A Goofy movie. Being me, I started a tickle fight, which resulted in us wrestling all over the bed. Eventually, I got him pinned, we had a movie-worthy-moment of eye contact, and then he leaned up an kissed me. That kiss changed my life.
Our relationship started out slow, but once it started to get serious, it took off from there.
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