I'm in a crappy mood. I figured I'd show all sides of me here. So here's me angry, jealous, and resentful.
I'm so tired of everyone around me having everything they want. Obviously I don't know the bad in everyone's life, and I don't know what it's like being them, but I do see their good. I need to let this out, so don't judge me.
I feel like everyone around me has more "good" parts in their lives than I do, and their "good" parts are better than mine.
I hate that I can't be as happy for people as I should be. But sometimes I just don't want to hear everyone's good news. The best thing that has happend to me for a long time was graduating cosmo school and getting my license. I worked my ass off for that. I'm proud of it, but it's something I earned. I feel like I've had a huge lacking in the luck or karma department.
I hate that I feel like this. I actually considered not posting this, but I need to get it out there. I'm not usually a jealous person. It is such an alien feeling to me. I will be more happy for you than you are for yourself! I get SO excited when good things happen to the people I love. I just wish I could have some of that happiness for myself.
I know what you mean. In real life and in blog world. One of my biggest pet peeves are blogs where all that is talked about is GOOD stuff. It's like, is that all that you're going to pretend your life is? Because everyone knows life isn't perfect, so to pretend that it is, is just plain irritating. In real life it's even worse because there isn't a little "X" button to get out. You just have to sit through it and stew. I'm actually having issues with a cousin of mine who just became engaged a month or so ago. It's not that I'm not happy for her, it's that she feels this constant need to compete with me so a lot of our family thinks she did it to keep up with me. I don't know if I believe that personally but she has made it into a competition and now I get to worry about if she'll try and steal the stage at my anniversary party in June. It makes me jealous and angry and irrational.
ReplyDeleteSo if anything, do NOT feel alone or like anyone is judging you. Because that would be far from the truth! We all have those thoughts and we all get that feeling like we're stuck in a rut. You'll get unstuck soon. Maybe try something new to help get yourself jump started?
It's good to get it out there....everyone has felt like this from time to time. It will pass. And if it doesn't....just sneak into someones house..and take whatever it is that your wanting of theirs:) Just don't get caught *wink!
ReplyDeleteyou need to read my blog, i am very open about my feelings good and bad. i think sometimes we just need to get it out
ReplyDelete