Let me just tell you. There is nothing like making my life difficult to make me feel like the military really does not give a shit that my husband is dead. Here's the thing. Nothing that has anything to do with my benefits has been easy. Look, if I'm supposed to be getting these benefits because my husband died, and the Air Force takes care of their own, if they really want to take care of me, then why do I constantly feel like I'm getting tossed aside?
I decided that I needed to do something with my life. I'm not ok staying as a hairstylist. If I'm going to be single, if I'm going to be the only one bringing anything to my life, I need to step it up a little. This summer I decided to go back to school for nursing. I thought about doing it a few years ago, and I feel like helping people in some way. After going to the local college no less than five times, constantly needing answers so I could fill out the paperwork needed to get my benefits, I finally thought it was working out. I registered late, so most of the pre-reqs for the nursing program were full. I was able to get into 2, and figure I would take two extra classes to fill my schedule. They weren't related to my degree, but they seemed interesting to me.
So, now I'm registered for four classes, I have my books, and I'm supposed to start school on Monday.
I just got an email saying that the VA will not pay for any classes that are not directly related to my degree. No one told me anything about that. So now I have about $600 or so dollars in tuition and books that I have to pay for out of my pocket.
Oh, also, if I'm not going full time, I will only get half of the benefits, so I won't be able to afford to just go to school, I'll have to work through the entire school year.
And another thing, I went to college for a semester before cosmetology school, and hated it. I failed most of the classes. If I take 12+ credits and pass all of my classes, I can drop that semester and raise my GPA.
I feel like most of this is whiny or entitled. Maybe for the average person. But I am a military widow. As military spouses we are PROMISED that we will be taken care of if the worst happens. I don't feel like that promise has been kept.
Even past the schooling part, none of this is easy. I have had to fight for every benefit I'm "supposed" to get. Everything I've promised would happen to take care of me because my husband promised to serve his country.
I hate that every step I try to take to improve my life gets me pushed back a little further.
I'm sorry that getting your benefits has become such an ordeal for you! That isn't right, they should be taking care of you, not making you jump through hoops!
ReplyDeleteIf you need any help, let me know.
ReplyDeleteYou do feel like just a number and sometimes even a burden with some of these offices. It should not have to be this difficult. While there are so many good people that want to do right by you, there are the few that just don't seem to get it or care to. I went through the same and was disgusted at the ineptitude, misinformation and sometimes downright callous attitudes of some within the multitude of Govt agencies. It's like pouring salt in a gaping wound.
I emailed you a while back, I am not sure if you remember who I am or have my email address still. But I will check back here if you need any help with this stuff.
Stay strong.
One other thing...I have always hated the term "benefits" in the Casualty process. Benefits? really? No. Your heart and life gets ripped into a tiny million pieces and you try to put them back together...but you never really can make it completely whole again. Even when you find the strength day by day with life propelling you forward anyway, there will always be the you and him and that never ever goes away...it's a blessing and a curse because it makes you smile and hurt all at the same time. There are no benefits to losing the one you love. But the Military uses the term for recruitment to put minds at ease that families will be looked after if the unthinkable occurs. it's like a promise to ease the stress of placing your life on the line for our Country. Damn straight they better follow through with the least amount of stress to you and not make your life even more difficult now.
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