This could potentially be a really long post, but I'm tired and my brain is wandering, so I'll shorten it up.
I'm angry for Steve for so many reasons. Reread that if you need to. For Steve, not at Steve.
I think that the thing I'm angry about the most isn't what people expect. I'm so angry at how he died. Steve told me once that he would have been ok going to fight for the military, and dying from the war. Steve was all about America, and the perfect kind of guy to be in the military. That was the only thing he ever said to me about dying. If someone like Steve has to die, if someone so young has to die, it should be what they feel is a good cause, or whatever.
A life like that shouldn't be taken because of an accident. If I had to lose my 19 year old husband, it should have made more sense. It shouldn't have been a dumb freaking accident.
*Edit*
I would just like to add, in case it isn't obvious, that I don't think a person dying in the war makes their death ok. It is still a horrible horrible thing. I'm just saying in Steve's life, it would have been more acceptable to him. He would be SO mad if he were here to see what happened.
I have no words. I want to say I understand because for some reason I feel your pain completely but to be honest I don't feel your pain because I am not going through it. But for whatever it means I feel for you and am thinking about you. This cannot be easy and I am so sorry I just want you to know people are here...whether they understand, feel or not, they are still here. That must mean something right?? I try to think what I would do if I lost my husband and I seriously can't even imagine so this is all I have and I would hope the least out of the people I barely knew!!!!!
ReplyDeleteDamn I read that back and I know that doesn't make sense but I can't even express what I feel for you and your situation!! I have know idea what you are feeling. But for whatever reason I would love to help in any way I can. Don't feel afraid to ask if you need to.
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